Why the English Alphabet is messed up

Dear English alphabet,

Can we just talk about how stupid you are?? Not all of you of course, but particularly C, K, G, P, and X.

Like for example, why does the C make 2 exact sounds that we already have?! It either makes a "kuh" sound or a "suh" sound, but ummm, weren't these jobs already taken by, oh I don't know, K AND S?!! For example, in the word coccyx (koksyx), the letter C takes both the K and the S' job in one word! What did they ever do to it? K always makes the “kuh” sound, and S always makes the “suh” sound, so C is definitely confused, but most importantly so are we! C is a letter that doesn’t always make a “kuh” sound, yet most “kuh” sound words start with C!

Speaking of K, what the hell is wrong with you man?? You and your buddy G are really tough and confident guys, until either one of you come before the letter N and then you lose your damn minds. Oh my God even the alphabet has drama and love triangles! It's like you both have a crush on it and whenever you’re near it you become silent all of a sudden. What for? Why do you even exist in a word in which you're silent?? Why do silent letters even exist in the first freaking place??? I imagine this is how it went when they invented the word knee: - I think that we should call this bendy part of the leg Nee - Sounds good but do me a favor and put a K at the start mate - Why? - *Pulls out gun* - Not gonna lie man you do make a very convincing argument, alright then, Knee it is!

Although I guess P is like the silent king of the alphabet. At least K and G are only shy from N, but in the words Psychology, Pterodactyl, Pneumonia, and others, P has a huge hormone blast and pretty much has a crush on every other constant that follows it. Not with the H though, nope. When P and H are together, they don't cancel each out be silent together, or the H cancels the P and makes it silent like it usually is, THEY FUSE INTO THE LETTER F!! Whoever invented the English language, what were you thinking exactly?

The worst though, the absolute worst: X. It's generally a letter that makes a "ks" sound, which I would give a pass on (why are there so many letters that are trying to copy K and S though?!), except when it sounds like a Z! Probably the most famous word that starts with an X is Xylophone, but why? Just why does it sound like a Z?? And that’s not even a rare case or the only word in which it does that. There’s also Xeric, Xerophyte, Xiphoid, and Xylem just to name a few. Why does it walk around pretending like it's something it's not? In the human world, that's called an insecurity.

The English alphabet just needs to come together every once in a while and decide who sounds like what. We’ll all be happy about it and cheer in celebration and life will probably be better and less complicated.

Sincerely, Someone who’s tired of your shit. And you? What do you think about that? Is there another stupid letter that I forgot about? Let me know in the comments below, and if you liked this, please share it with your friends ☺